The Self-Love I’m talking about is probably not what you’re expecting…

If you know me at all you know my style is equal parts class and camp. And I love Las Vegas. I’ve spent the last 10 days in Sin City for the grand re-opening of most venues/end of the mask mandate for fully vaccinated folks. While I expected to have fun; I could not have foreseen what I would experience these past two weeks. I had an exceptional time seeing my favorite humans, making new friends, going to my first concert since early 2020 (Sofi Tukker- amazing,) and even meeting Richard Branson (!!) but that wasn’t the most profound takeaway from the weekend. I captured my thoughts in real-time on the flight home, and yesterday while reflecting. I have shared many dark moments during the pandemic; so thanks for letting me share this moment of light with you.

Had the chance to meet on of my heroes, Sir Richard Branson, at the grand opening of the Virgin Hotel Las Vegas

(June 12th, 2021 9:23 PM)

I’m having a really hard time leaving Vegas this trip.
Not sure why.
Perhaps because I realize how much I love the art, and the grit, and the sweat, and the fam that live there.
Maybe it’s wanting to scratch the itch I can’t shake calling me to leave the Bay.
Maybe it’s the heat.
The lace.
The slutty acceptance.
Maybe it’s just everything wanting to come out of me at once.
Maybe it’s the call of the desert.
More likely it’s the desire to live close to family… and not wanting to leave that feeling of closeness.
That safety.
The nefarious glances and that comfortable recklessness.
Who the fuck knows.
Whatever it is – I didn’t want to go tonight.
I can’t wait to come back… And I’ve never felt that way leaving here.
Sigh, there isn’t enough red wine on this puddle jumper.
But I’m so fucking grateful.

Finally back with friends listening to live music!

(June 13th, 2021 12:37 PM)

It hit me in the shower.
I felt like I was going to vomit heart energy (or the red wine from First class.)
This warm surge barged its way into my chest.
I audibly gasped.
Confused, tears welled in my eyes.
Drinkee played in the background.
Heart bursting, my mind slowly came into focus.
So simple I didn’t see it coming.
I laughed.
This feeling?
It’s Love.
I am finally feeling love in my heart again.
Love from the fam.
Lovers.
Love from new friends.
Love of shared experiences.
LOVE.
Love is power and we were all so void of it.
We are all worthy of love.
Fucking hell.
It’s so good to feel love again.
Thank fuck.
I Missed it.
So much.

(June 13th, 2021 7:09)

Rehydrating my desert face
With steam from my detox tea
I inhaled deeply
The mist cleared, revealing my monochrome mirrored face
And I got it
Everything I just experienced – the serendipity
Wasn’t luck
It was a reflection
Of me.

xoxo


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